The Blast

Awake but inert.

Thinking about the impressions we make on others.

How much is the way we look?  How much is the way we smile? How much is in the eyes?  Our words?  How they express our thoughts?  I'm sure most of you would agree it's a combination.

Don't we like to see the part we like best of ourselves reflected back in those around us?  Of course we do. It's gratifying.

I would like to project an intangible blast of love at those around me. Something they can sense - like the warmth of a fire on a cold night. Something they can feel safe and calm surrounded by.

Can you feel it?  I'm trying. Close your eyes. Appearance means nothing. There it is.

Dessert

The appetiser was exhausting

The main was a crushing blow

The dessert was like a day at work

But the fortified wine made it all worthwhile

Drinking from the secret well of life feels right.  

Have you tried it?  Are you awake?  

Inside out

I sometimes feel like I've been shucked, peeled and gutted. My shell reversed to better strip me of my flesh and soul.

I sometimes feel like a tree laden with ripe, rotten fruit that no one wants to eat.

How can we find the right balance between?  It's awful to be over stretched, over used, run ragged and depleted. It's soul crushing to be left behind alone and unwanted. I would there was an elastic band. Stretchy and resilient. Allowing us to ricochet from one extreme to the other - having our fill at our leisure - no one else's.

Have you got my size?

Again again and again

I'm thinking today of how to articulate my thoughts accurately in words.

Some days I can type and type and type but getting to the essence of the matter is virtually impossible.  

Other days every word is perfect - right from the start.

And there is the rare moment when I know my reader is fully with me. It doesn't matter what I write because they already know the darkness in my soul.

You know it too.
So now, I'm wondering how to write the most unwritable feelings.
Ripping the tiles off the floor of my abdomen
And laying them down face-up for inspection.
Let's build something, shall we?

Th Age of the Martini

I want mine shaken
I want it stirred
I want a twist
I want blue cheese
I want it dirty

Why not apply those across the board?

Give me them in spades. Mix them up. Unsettle me. Make me giggle and tell secrets.  Release me from the last of my inhibitions. Pare me down to my essence and fill me up with spontaneity, life, tickles, and truth until they demand the ultimate release.

Landing

There is an exhilaration that accompanies take-off
But landing brings pure, simple relief.

The worst of the journey is over: the best is a twinkling of the imagination - a happy dream of delights past or to follow

The juxtaposition of the beginning and the end encapsulates a landing. Are we on the brink of a great moment? Or the finale of what was the adventure of a lifetime.

I'd like to make every landing the start of another incredible journey.  Would you like to join me?

Voodoo

Someone has been working a kind of weird magic on me.
Was it you?

Did you wave a wand and cast a spell?
Did you boil a toad and chant a crazy rhyme?
Did you call on Gods to make your wishes true?

Well whatever you did, it worked.

My toes are curled
My mouth is dry
My stomach is all in a tangle of knots

And I am flickering and fluttering
But not fighting

Cracks in the tilework

They're just fine.
We need them to remind ourselves of our own imperfections.
We need them to reassure ourselves that everything's okay.
We need them to feel alive.

Bubbles

This week has been a feast of bubbles!
Bubbles on my tongue. Bubbles in my thoughts. Bubbles putting a bounce in my step.
I feel deliciously effervescent.
Light-headed and giddy.
Luminescent and lively.

Let there be bubbles on tap forever -
Will you share them with me?
Perhaps we can lie awake tonight and see where they take us.
Wherever it is, it will feel like home.

Scratching Itches

Sometimes it isn't anything more than a thought.
Sometimes it isn't anything more than a word.
Sometimes it isn't anything more than a simple gesture.

But that's all you need to feel reassured sometimes.
And that's enough.