What happens to 20 years?
A lost memory of an idea that lurks in the alleys of Hong Kong - of cockroaches dancing to midnight traffic - and me out of the way, hiding under the covers up to my nose. Just enough to breathe but not enough to talk.
What happens to decisions not made?
What happens to the unraveled ends of our frayed choices just waiting to get stuck in something.
I feel like I'm living out days waiting for the inevitable snag. And then the recoil.
But life has a way of compressing time and throwing fragments of past at just the right velocity to make you look back and wonder ...
Wednesday, 11 February 2015
Sunday, 1 February 2015
Roast
Sometimes it's just nice to wait in anticipation.
There are two facets of this, I think. The one is a certainty - a delayed gratification if you will - with the clear knowledge of the nature of the outcome and knowing there will indeed be an outcome. The other is the waiting, and taking pleasure in the ride and uncertainty: will there be a conclusion? A fatal moment?
Waiting for the sake of waiting in either case increasingly appeals. Think about how you feel before a good meal, a chance to wear that new outfit, feedback from a job application. A first date. A first kiss. There are times when it doesn't get better than the anticipation. And the longer the anticipation, the more work our imaginations do to prolong and extend the depth and joy of the imagined 'what could be'.
And now. I wait for sleep. Enjoying every moment of warm cosiness bundled up under the gigantic white duvet and letting the stresses of the day recede along with my consciousness.
I can wait just like this. For as long as sleep lets me.
There are two facets of this, I think. The one is a certainty - a delayed gratification if you will - with the clear knowledge of the nature of the outcome and knowing there will indeed be an outcome. The other is the waiting, and taking pleasure in the ride and uncertainty: will there be a conclusion? A fatal moment?
Waiting for the sake of waiting in either case increasingly appeals. Think about how you feel before a good meal, a chance to wear that new outfit, feedback from a job application. A first date. A first kiss. There are times when it doesn't get better than the anticipation. And the longer the anticipation, the more work our imaginations do to prolong and extend the depth and joy of the imagined 'what could be'.
And now. I wait for sleep. Enjoying every moment of warm cosiness bundled up under the gigantic white duvet and letting the stresses of the day recede along with my consciousness.
I can wait just like this. For as long as sleep lets me.
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